


Forget Me Not

by Smosh (DeadLoaf)



Category: Smosh
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Two Endings, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-11-02 03:03:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20600333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadLoaf/pseuds/Smosh
Summary: He should be used to the feeling of choking by now. Choking from food, choking from his illness, and choking from emotion.But choking from small baby blue petals, the taste of nectar at the back of his throat, is a sensation he never quite expected to feel in his lifetime.





	Forget Me Not

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is my first ever fanfiction. Please excuse the weird writing style, I'm more used to writing in formal and classical style.
> 
> I haven't seen much work on Hanahaki Disease so, I decided to make one myself.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

_An urban lore remains as such, until it happens and ceases to be. It’s obscure and it’s random. It happens to worst and it happens to the best. Similar to every story, there is always a truth rooted within the origin of each lore, but where it differs is the potency and the belief that makes it exist._

He should be used to the feeling of choking by now. Choking from food, choking from his illness, and choking from emotion. But choking from small baby blue petals is a sensation he never quite expected to feel in his lifetime.

Light pants filled the messy room as he tried to catch his breath, the sweet taste of nectar stuck in his throat.

A normal person would have panicked immediately, but all Damien felt was melancholy and acceptance.

He let out a humorless laugh. “Of course it has to be me…” he whispered with a wry grin on his face as he fell back down on the sheets.

* * *

Deciding that the symptoms were still on the beginning stages, he carried on his usual morning routine before driving to the Smoffice. Besides the usual traffic and a few short coughs along the way, everything was going well.

Arriving at the office area, he saw what is now becoming a familiar sight of Shayne and his girlfriend, Sylvia. Lounging on the couch talking with them are the unusual combination of Courtney, Monica, and Lasercorn. Of course, being the great friend that he is, he greeted everyone in his usual boisterous manner.

Shayne introduced Sylvia two months ago, having met each other while he was filming for “The Goldbergs”. They hit off immediately, her sense of humor and interests complimenting Shayne’s. Damien, surprising himself, became quick friends with her too, sharing his interests in history and in annoying Shayne every now and then.

Her general friendliness and compatibility with Shayne was what prevented him from unleashing Jealous Damien. Besides, he is still Shayne’s best friend after all.

Joining everyone on the couch after getting his coffee, he mentally went through his now daily mantra of smile, laugh, and joke. While he was half-listening to a particularly animated story from Courtney, he observed how Shayne has changed since meeting Sylvia.

His blue eyes are brighter, fondly looking at Sylvia while she’s listening to Courtney. He opted to wear a white shirt behind black denim overalls today – not Shayne’s usual style, but he’s now becoming more comfortable with other clothing choices with her added encouragement. His self-deprecating jokes were becoming less frequent and the bags under his eyes were now less prominent. Overall, he’s looking better than before.

Internally, Damien can’t help but feel like a horrible friend for not being able to help his friend with these. Over the course of their friendship, he has known Shayne’s insecurities, interests, and his recurring habit of overworking himself. Damien is aware that he has his own issues, but his anxiety can’t help but blame himself.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he let out a light cough and a few blue petals fell on his hand. He assured everyone he’s okay before quickly pocketing the petals.

Ian then called for everyone’s attention and ushered everyone to the Smosh Games room. Quickly draining the remaining coffee, Damien threw the cup in the trash before joining everyone, hoping he wouldn’t cough while on camera.

* * *

Five months went by without a major hiccup. Shayne and Sylvia got closer, everyone was getting used to the new routine at Mythical, and Joven, Wes, and Sohinki come by every once in a while. The amount of petals did increase, but it was manageable enough for Damien.

Of course, eventually it was bound to get worse.

* * *

It was still 4:16 in the morning, but Damien was wide awake, staring at the 4 petite blossoms in his hand. A small yellow ring holding together five petals, white near the sepal, fading to a baby blue rounded tip.

_“Forget-me-not, how fitting.”_

Damien held the flowers closer to his eyes, dimly illuminated by the streetlights shining on his windows. Stray thoughts swarmed his head.

_“The color complements my hair.”_

The color blue seemed to revolve around Damien a lot. It says a lot about himself, especially his love of cold weather and his inner melancholy. But some of his fondest memories and favorite things also involve blue; the anime brothers, his favorite clothes, his gadgets, his hair…and Shayne’s eyes.

Shayne with his blue eyes, captivating him since they first met. It was an inevitable snowball effect really.

His efforts to lie to himself and trying to date others was a lost cause from the beginning. Damien eventually accepted that he’s in love with his best friend and tried his best instead to not make it as obvious as possible. Yet, he can’t help that in every friendly gesture, there was an underlying affection and a silent, desperate plea.

Shayne being himself, accepted these gestures as a sign of a closer friendship and reciprocated with his own, believing everything as platonic.

Damien was all right with it, having Shayne as his best friend was better than not having Shayne at all. So he silently pined, disguising his romantic affections as friendly quirks.

They bonded, they joked, they travelled, they worked together.

Despite being the straight one between them, Shayne seemed to handle the shipping better. Even playing along with it sometimes, with Damien silently dying inside whenever it happens.

He supposes, after eight years, the disease was bound to happen eventually. It might have slowly rooted throughout the years, he’s not quite sure.

Taking another close look at the flowers, _“I should probably be looking for a doctor right now,”_ he mused. But in the lethargic atmosphere of the early morning hours, he can’t find the motivation to move.

* * *

He continued to cough out a small number of full Forget-Me-Not blossoms for another three months before someone noticed his hidden pain.

The day was scheduled for pitching ideas, so everyone usually comes to the office a bit later. Meanwhile, Damien decided to arrive earlier than usual, losing the battle with sleeplessness the night before.

Greeting the other early birds along the way, he entered the kitchen and was pleasantly surprised to see Mari sipping a cup of coffee while scrolling on her phone.

After an exchange of enthusiastic greetings and fetching a hot cup, Damien seated himself opposite Mari. They found themselves later talking about video games and other mundane things.

When Damien was about to jokingly tease Mari, he only had a second to recognize the familiar taste of nectar before vomiting more than a fistful of blossoms on the floor. Mari quickly put down her phone to steady Damien, who was flushing and panting heavily.

When his vision cleared, Damien noticed that most of the blossoms now have short stems, some even have a few small leaves attached to them. A more glaring detail however, are the small specks of blood dotting the pristine petals.

“Damien, how long have you hidden this?” Mari’s voice reminded Damien that he has company. Meeting her eyes, he was surprised to find concern and…sympathy?

He finally answered, voice hoarse, after calming down, “I don’t know…Maybe, about eight months?”

Mari gasped, “That long? Have you tried finding a specialist?” Damien merely shook his head in denial.

“Okay, okay. Stay there and gather your strength, I’ll clean this up,” Mari grabbed a spare paper bag. “After I’m finished, we’re going to a doctor.”

“What? No, Mari it’s okay – ”

“Don’t.” Her tone made him shut his mouth, “I’ll tell Matt and Ian we’re going somewhere urgent. Grab your stuff.”

At Mari’s stern order, Damien stopped protesting and followed her outside to his car. He also insisted on driving, but nothing can get past a very determined and stubborn Mari.

While driving, she managed to convince him to tell everything that happened. From the corner of his vision, he saw a stray tear escape Mari’s eye and her hands grip the steering wheel tighter while he told everything.

After keeping a huge secret for more than eight years, it was nice for someone to know, for someone he trusted to share his burdens with. B

y the time Mari stopped the car in front of a large unfamiliar hospital, Damien was emotionally exhausted but feeling lighter than before.

Before stepping out, Mari turned in her seat to face Damien and hold his hand. “I once had a friend back in Japan, she had Hanahaki Disease too,” his eyes widened in surprise as he enveloped Mari’s hands with both of his.

“She kept everything secret and continued to smile for everyone. She was one of the lucky ones whose symptoms were so slow that she had it for four years. During that fourth year, when every breath she took hurt, she finally told us. After a month, she…she passed away.” Mari choked a sob, “She didn’t want to live without feeling love.

“I’m telling you this, because I want you to know that I understand your decision. But I want to give you an option. Hanahaki doctors are rare here in America, but luckily, I have a friend who is one. Are you okay with this?”

Damien waited a beat to take everything in, from Mari story to a suddenly open option for him. “All right, I trust you” he smiled.

Mari nodded, “Let’s go.”

Both got out of the car and went straight to the eighth floor, where obscure diseases are diagnosed and treated. They both entered the doctor’s office, and after an exchange of pleasantries, he immediately proceeded with the diagnosis. Damien went through a series of tests then they waited at the lounge. Three hours later, they were called back for the result.

_“Four months, huh…”_

According to the doctor, that is all the time he has left before the roots will take over his lungs and heart. Two months for him to decide whether he will proceed with the surgery, or make the most out of his remaining time.

Damien dropped Mari off to her house after long talk at a café. She gave him a long hug and a peck on his forehead before he drove home.

Damien mused, he should probably warn Mark Raub of his condition.

Arriving home, Mark was really understanding when Damien dropped the bomb on him, even offering to take care of Freyja and Zelda when he can’t. Damien was really grateful for that.

Dinner was a comfortably quiet affair that night between the two men and the two cats.

Damien settled into his bed before he checked his phone and saw a lot of text from his friends at Smosh, most of the texts from resident worrywart Courtney, and obviously Shayne. He assured everyone with a believable excuse he planned with Mari a while ago, then called Shayne.

He was usually an honest guy, and lying, especially to his best friend, gives him anxiety pains in his stomach.

But with his situation, it’s not like he has a choice.

**Author's Note:**

> Tune in for the two alternate endings. I'll be posting both at the same time.


End file.
